Find Your ‘Main Character Energy’ - A Staggering Midlife Superpower

Or...I'm sorry, George, wherever you are.

Are you ready to ditch the supporting role and embrace your true starring moment? Discover why 'Main Character Energy' is the midlife revolution you didn't know you needed.

When I was in my early twenties, I spent two evenings during the week and all day on Saturdays at "the studio." The studio was the acting training studio of a famous acting teacher in New York City. I remember only three people from those days: my acting sage (still my mentor to this day at 82 years of age), my bestie, Michelle, and a young man named George.

You can picture George because you knew a guy just like him. He was the classic Jersey Boy of the mid-nineties (sprung from a Bruce Springsteen song, complete with a jean jacket and hairspray). He was the stocky high-school football player who was too short to ever play beyond high school but was ultra-popular, given his ability to crack hysterical sexist jokes and entertain the locker room with raunchy songs.

George could carry a tune. So, when football season was over, his buddies persuaded him to audition for the spring musical. For classic Jersey Boys, the spring musical was always West Side Story, and they were always cast as "Riff." Since Riff is essentially a replica of the Georges of the world, and, as previously mentioned, the Georges of the world are too short to play football beyond their Glory Days, the Georges of the world end up believing they are destined to conquer Broadway and head off to the lower west side acting studios.

The question is, if George were such a forgettable stereotype, why can I remember him? Michelle and I used to sit in the back of the rows of students, a notepad balanced on our knees between us. In addition to taking copious notes whenever Vicki (the acting teacher) opened her mouth (I'm telling you, heroine, she is a genius), we also passed hilarious (to us) judgy judgment on our fellow classmates as they struggled through activities, assignments, and monologues from "Spoon River Anthology."

I remember George because he was our favorite victim (all of this sounds super mean, but in our defense, we were twenty years old, and no one ever saw our notebook). Michelle's crowning achievement of notebook caricatures was a pencil drawing of George flying through the air, trailing a long cape behind him, with a massive "I" on his muscular chest. The "I" stood for "Indicator Man."

Now, I need you to bear with me because all this acting talk does have a purpose. Plus, look, you're getting a fascinating (?) lesson on method acting in the process.

This particular studio exclusively taught the acting technique developed by Sanford Meisner. Meisner had a term for surface-level acting. He called that acting "Indicating "(superficial, performative, not grounded in emotional truth), and George (wherever you are, George, I hope you are living a gloriously happy fifty-something life) was the master of indication, hence his "not so secret" superhero identity. George overflowed with 'Main Character Energy,' like a Budweiser shaken up and ready to pop. In George's view, obviously, he was the star of his own life, but he was also the star of ours. He resisted Vicki's gentle and masterful feedback and ignored his classmates’ smiles, simply assuming those smiles expressed the gratitude of a satisfied audience.

Here are the key characteristics of "Indicating" in acting:

• Showing vs. Being:

  • Indicating involves a superficial presentation of a feeling, like pretending to cry by scrunching up a pretty botoxed face and forcing tears (Hello, Colleen Hoover groupies!).

• Audience Consciousness:

  • Actors who indicate often prioritize audience reaction, intentionally telegraphing emotions or reactions rather than trusting subtlety and inner truthfulness.

• Overacting or Exaggeration:

  • Gestures and emotions become broad and generalized rather than precise and authentic.

• Lack of Moment-to-Moment Presence:

  • Indicating disconnects the actor from authentic responsiveness to scene partners, creating static or predictable behavior instead of organic spontaneity.

If you think you've seen these characteristics before, you have...On TikTok.

Now listen, I'm a huge fan of being the main character in your life. (I mean, I developed an entire course to teach you how to do it.) But if you are indicating (or TikToking), you aren't connected to your emotional truth. You aren't acting from the core of who you truly are. You might find yourself wandering down the path of delusion, imagining a seamless leap from high school hero to Broadway sensation.

I often think I studied acting way too early in life. I didn't know who I was. I was a bundle of insecurities and anxiety; I was a painful people-pleaser. If I were to study acting now, with my post-menopausal confidence, my inner wisdom, and my well of deep transformative life experiences to draw from, whooohoo, just watch me go.

For us midlifers (especially women), "Main Character Energy" isn't just a fleeting TikTok trend for the beautiful—it's a profound (and mighty) superpower.

Midlife is our Call to Adventure. It's a powerful inflection point when we clearly see our own mortality and (hopefully) pause to reconsider how we genuinely want to spend the rest of our most valuable commodity—time. A woman's midlife calling usually screams at her to make the profound shift from living for others (our partners, our children, our bosses) to truly inhabiting her own narrative as the heroine we are meant to be.

But, as George very clearly taught me, there's a critical distinction between having "Main Character Energy" and just performing it. The young, eager TikTokers often lean into the trend by "indicating." Their main character energy is shallow and performative, showing off exaggerated versions of what they think a main character looks like to give the audience what they think they want, but without feeling the power within themselves.

But we are the women who've lived! We've gathered the scars, tears, laughter, and wisdom from our personal narratives. We have the power to truly embody our main character status authentically.

That doesn't mean we don't mistakenly fall back on indicating. I mean, we've been trained our entire lives to be the person other people want us to be and are experts at "putting on a show." So, to emerge from a lifetime of bad habits and bad acting, we can turn to Meisner to help us. Here are some practical acting exercises inspired by the Meisner technique. These exercises are designed to eliminate superficial "indicating." These are the first steps toward connecting you deeply with your authentic Main Character Energy superpower:

• Emotional Truth Journaling: Every morning, write briefly about exactly how you feel in that moment, without exaggeration or filtering. Resist judgment—be simple and honest: "I feel tired," or "I'm restless and excited." Connecting with your truthful emotional starting point daily helps ground you in authenticity rather than performative emotion.

• Neutral Statement, Heroine's Context: Choose a simple phrase ("I’m here now.") and say it aloud, each time imagining a different powerful moment from your real-life heroine story, like leaving a toxic relationship, embarking on a new career path, or traveling solo for the first time. Notice how imagining each context infuses the phrase with a different emotional surge. You are tapping into your authenticity.

• The Mirror Check-In: Look at yourself in the mirror for two full minutes without performance or commentary. Observe kindly. Notice when you feel the impulse to "perform" an emotion (smiling like the Joker, or frowning like your mother-in-law). You should take a deep breath, gently release that impulse, and just be. Practice "being seen" by yourself.

• Genuine Action, Genuine Reaction: Perform a routine, real-life activity (making tea, watering plants, sorting mail) as if it were a meaningful, significant action in your life's narrative—because it is. Give it your full, mindful attention. Let emotions rise naturally from the sensory details and authentic experience rather than forcing or reverting to habit.

• Main Character Observation: In a public setting, observe a woman who truly seems like the "main character" of her life. She need not be the loudest or flashiest, but the one who moves calmly, confidently, and easily. What feels authentic about their behavior? Journal your observations and reflect on how you can incorporate that quiet authenticity into your own movements through the world.

Unlike George (bless his little cotton socks), who mistook performance for presence, your Main Character Energy as a midlife heroine isn't something to show off, it's something to embody. With your depth, your authenticity, and the rich emotional well you've cultivated over decades, you don't need to indicate. You just need to be. This isn't acting. It's living your truth.

JOURNAL PROMPT

Try one or more of the exercises above. Journal about your experience. Were you there? Did you connect with your authentic self? Did you connect with the moment? Or were you playing at these exercises, worried if you were doing them "right"?

Do you know someone who needs some Main Character Energy?

Share your greatest challenge (anonymous) so I can help you more!

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