Don't Set Goals. Do This Instead.

Or... there will be dragons.

Are you tired of chasing goals that leave you feeling empty? It’s time to rethink what success truly means.

Once upon a time, in an office space far, far away lived a disillusioned young lady chasing corporate success who believed in SMART goals, and that Harvard Research study that claimed people who had goals made more money (except, it wasn’t Harvard; it was Yale, and wait... did such a study even exist?)

I dutifully tracked my goals in my Palm Pilot (yes, those did exist), and like the Type A go-getter I was, I powered straight toward that fixed, immovable destination without bending, breaking, or looking at what was around me.

I had some success in the corporate world. I got awards and bonuses. I convinced myself that I was killing it. Okay, so a handsome sales guy with a confident stride and a glint of ambition in his eye got promoted to a business analyst position that should have been mine. And, okay, I had to train said handsome sales guy to do the job that should have been mine. But that unbudging, truthfully unconsidered goal was still in sight. Someday, I would be a corporate executive and make a mega-colossal salary, so I would never have to worry about paying my bills again.

This goal was SMART. It was specific. I wanted to reach the E-Band level. It was measurable; the levels were fixed. It was achievable. Okay, there weren’t many women at that level, but a few were up there in the clouds. It was relevant. I loved my work as a business analyst as it fed my creative soul but with a better than a creative paycheck. And it was time-bound. I would hit this goal before I reached forty. Reasonable, right? Wrong.

I never made E-Band level. I quit while I was at C-Band level. Why? Because I discovered goals aren’t the answer. Goals are like finish lines; they signal a stopping point. And if you power toward that stopping point, ignoring everything around you and screeching to a halt when you get there, immediately setting up the next goal so you can race off again, you aren’t living much of a life, and you probably aren’t learning the lessons that a journey of awareness could teach you.

When reading or writing stories, you’ll find it’s not the goal that counts. It’s the winding, unpredictable paths that reveal the heart of adventure. A journey takes you somewhere. That somewhere may be a goal you set for yourself, it may not. That’s not the point.

In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy’s shiny beacon was the elusive wizard, a promise tucked behind emerald curtains. But she doesn’t race to get there. She can’t. She’s got a witch on her tail (haven’t we all at some point?) and some travel companions that, while lovely, are slowing her down. The goal is important of course, without it the yellow brick road wouldn’t exist for her to follow, but the story doesn’t happen when she reaches the goal. The story happens in the journey itself.

Instead of setting goals, a heroine plans transformations. Dorothy transforms from a scared little girl dismissing her surroundings to a courageous heroine who understands, “There is no place like home.” The transformation is the goal, not the thing.

In the Heroine’s Adventure (and quarterly in our paid Substack membership), we don’t go after goals; we embark on quests. Quests don’t have to be SMART or dutifully entered into your Palm Pilot. Quests are wide-ranging, exciting adventures. Dorothy considers the Wizard’s demand for the broom a setback when working toward her goal. However, if she were on a quest, a heroine would consider that challenge a massive opportunity for growth. Would the lion have found his courage without it?

Heroines know that in a story, in a Heroine’s Journey, there are always dragons to tame. And why do we tame the dragons? Because when you see a dragon, you know they are guarding a treasure. If my corporate twenty-something self had seen a dragon while racing toward a goal, I would have side-stepped that annoying monster. I had things to do and goals to reach. I knew everything. What could he teach me?

Heroines who avoid the dragons never discover the gold.

A quest is about a transformation and the treasure you collect along the way. You may reach your goal, or you may not, but it doesn’t matter. The journey will transform you.

So, instead of documenting a goal, plan a transformation.

We can borrow a technique from the secrets of story to implement this new plan. When planning a story core, I always know the transformation I want my main characters to make. To illustrate the transformation and make it clear to my readers, I write an opening and closing image. This image should be as clear as a Polaroid snapshot. It should include visual and sensory imagery that makes you feel something.

Remember how I gave up on my corporate goal? My opening and closing images went something like this.

Opening Image: Lisa-Marie sits in a cubicle surrounded by paperwork and files. A steady buzz of chatter about her makes it difficult to concentrate because she has no door. She picks at her packed lunch of a tuna sandwich with wilted lettuce. Tuna is all she can smell. Her boss knocks soundlessly on the padded wall and clears his throat. “I need you in this meeting to explain my work.” He leaves, you sigh. She looks at the clock, willing that second hand to rotate faster.

Closing Image: Lisa-Marie is sitting at her desk in the sunroom of her home in The Bahamas, listening to the waves lap against the sea wall. She is working on developing an exciting new product and gathering feedback from some of her best customers about what they would like included. She has a fresh salad waiting for her in the fridge, but she decides to take a dip in the pool before lunch. The water is crisp and refreshing as she lies back to feel the warm sun on her face and contemplate a technical issue she’s been pondering. Her daughter will be home at three today, and she has promised they would play her Nancy Drew game after homework, so she dries off and heads inside.

Always write these images in the third person, allowing you to distance yourself and think more clearly. Read your opening and closing images daily while you’re on the quest. I went FROM being a disillusioned twenty-something TO a successful entrepreneur. I didn’t have a goal; I went on a journey. Now it’s your turn to step onto the yellow brick road!

And there will be dragons.

JOURNAL PROMPT:

What is a transformation you would like to make? Would you like to go FROM a hobbyist TO a professional writer? Would you like to go FROM being disorganized TO being a Martha Stewart replica? Would you like to go FROM a person who struggles with money TO an abundant earner? None of these journeys will be easy. There will be forests to chop through and dragons to tame, but that’s what a quest is. It never really ends, but think of all the treasure you’ll gather along the way.

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If the idea of embarking on a quest to find your true self excites you, join our paid membership and get live quests and guidebooks. Quests begin in January.

Any questions? Leave a comment…

First time visiting Call for Heroines? What we offer…

• Free weekly journal prompts to help you get UNSTUCK.

• Paid Members enjoy:

  • Monthly group coaching call

  • Exciting quarterly heroine quests. We use the power of story structure to uncover hidden insights and actionable solutions. Make 2025 an adventure with the following quests:

    • Mining for Magic: Transform from "I don't know what to change" to "I understand completely what I need to fix."

    • Ultimate Whys: Transform from "I'm not sure why I do what I do" to "I know exactly what guides my life and decisions."

    • Embrace Your Inner Archetypes: Transform from “I’m not sure who I am” to “I know exactly who I need to be right now.”

    • Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Transform from "I don't think I belong here" to "I am a vital part of this community."

• The Heroine’s Adventure. It’s Life-Planning. But forget those humdrum life plans (you know, the one behind your yoga mat wrestling with the dust bunnies under your bed). In this course, you’ll create a Heroine's Map packed with vibrant, dynamic journeys linked directly to your soul's deepest desires. How? Using the secrets of personal transformation hidden in the structure of stories and myths. Inspired by the timeless Hero's Journey and Heroine's Journey, our course turns personal development and life planning into an exciting narrative where you are the star. You will examine and reconcile your past, fix the lies that you believe, document your ordinary world, create your Heroine’s Compass and your Soul Motto, uncover your Ultimate Whys, and learn to implement tools and skills that will set you on the path to finding your extraordinary life. Learn More Here.

• Speaking & Private Coaching: Send me an email at lisacabrelli@gmail.com