Design Your Life Like a Bestseller: Surrender to your ID.

Or...Make your life a story you want to stay up all night reading.

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What if the secret to designing an Extraordinary Life was hidden in the same exercise and map that bestselling authors use to make you binge an entire novel in one night?

I’m gonna go a bit academicay (I have claimed this word as real, so it’s real) on you here, but it’s for good reason, so hang in there with me.

Jennifer Lynn Barnes is a bestselling author known for her psychologically sharp, character-driven YA fiction. I’ve never read her popular series, The Inheritance Games, but I read and cited many of her published papers during my Ph.D. research, much of which focused on reader engagement. She’s pretty smart, I think. 😊 She has advanced degrees in psychology, psychiatry, and cognitive science (including a Ph.D. from Yale).

Dr. Barnes contributes massively to the academic realm of creative writing and can also be found making the author conference rounds, handing out killer advice for other authors. One of her standout contributions (and one that many a Mastermind pal has gushed about) is the concept of the "ID List," a behind-the-scenes writing exercise to help identify the emotional and narrative elements that keep you up at night turning pages until your husband stops snoring (whoops, I’m talking about me there!)

The ID List concept is about recognizing the recurring "wish fulfillment" items, tropes, character dynamics, and emotional beats that make a story irresistible to readers. Barnes argues that writers are most successful when they deliberately build stories around these recurring reader "IDs"—the deep, sometimes unspoken things people crave to experience through narrative. So Barnes keeps a detailed workbook filled with the elements (favorite tropes, character archetype, and plot elements) that appeal to her specifically. The theory is that if she follows her own “IDs” and writes true to herself, he fiction will become more compelling for her “perfect” readers.

Barnes suggests that we authors maintain our own ID List by constantly noting down what appeals to us about what we’re reading—what tropes we love, what types of characters we’re drawn to, and what plot elements keep us turning pages. Recently, while adding to my own writing ID list, I had a thought. The ID List is meant as a tool for fiction writers, but this concept has powerful applications beyond storytelling.

In real life, understanding your personal ID List, the patterns, experiences, dynamics, and emotional "hits" that consistently light you up, can become a fabulous guide toward your Aligned Desires, which are the essential guideposts for building an Extraordinary Life. Like in fiction, real-world choices are more authentic and useful when shaped around what your soul is truly drawn to, not just what appears logical or externally impressive. In other words, living and choosing for yourself instead of everyone around you (including your high-school nemesis who told you you’d never amount to anything, and whose voice you still here in your head when you are feeling crap…the she-devil).

I’m calling this my “Life ID List.” I’ve thought about how to translate Dr. Barnes' scientifically and psychologically backed process from useful in crafting a story into useful in crafting life. Embracing your personalized "Life ID List" is the key to designing a life that feels as compelling as your favorite stories. So, here goes.

What is your Life ID List?

Your Life ID List is a deeply personal inventory of everything that irresistibly lights you up.

It’s not just about what you enjoy doing or think might be fun; it’s about what compels you. It’s about the patterns, vibes, values, scenes, roles, and energies you return to again and again. It’s a map of your creative psyche and the worlds your soul craves. It’s about leading you through the desert of “shoulds” and “have-tos” directly to the oasis with a fresh, crystal-blue pool filled with your Aligned Desires.

How to Create Your Life ID List

Let’s blend the storytelling roots with real-world application. Just like Dr. Barnes, we will divide your Life ID List into categories, based on the elements of a good story (plus I’ve added a few bonus categories, based on my coaching experience)

Emotional Arcs You Crave (Tropes)

Tropes are the building blocks of storytelling.

You can think of them like the ingredients in a recipe (you throw all your favourites into a single pan and cook up something yummy). A trope is a familiar setup, situation, character type, relationship dynamic, or theme that shows up across many stories because it just works. It’s one of the psychological secrets of storytelling. We humans love to return to what is familiar and predictable when it comes to story. Tropes define the elements of the story that readers already know they love, even if they can't always explain why.

For example:

• The "reluctant hero" who doesn't want the adventure but is forced to leave anyway? (Think Frodo in Lord of the Rings). That's a trope.

• Two characters who pretend to be in a relationship and oops, actually fall in love? (Think Vivian and Edward in Pretty Woman). That's a trope.

• The drunken, grizzled detective solving one last case before retirement? (Think Rick Deckard in Blade Runner). Trope.

Many literary writers shy away from tropes because they view them as clichés. Tropes are not clichés (predictable and lifeless); when used well, they are incredibly satisfying because they deliver an experience we came looking for. Successful (read “selling”) genre fiction writers don’t avoid tropes; they use reader expectations to deliver the satisfaction a reader wants from a good read.

Once you understand the power of tropes, you can spotlight them on your Life ID. List those that appeal to your deepest, most compelling desires and use them intentionally to design personal experiences in real life that feel just as rich, thrilling, and true.

I love a good “Coming-of-age” story, which means I am drawn to transition, change, and “upgrading.” This knowledge guides me as I plan my Extraordinary Life. I also have “Found Family” on my ID list. Because I travel so much (and moved far away from my extended family as a kid), found families are the cocoon of safety I can fall into when I arrive at one of my several “homes.”

Need a head start? Did you think I would leave you hanging?

You could visit TV Tropes or A Complete List of Book Tropes if you’d like to dig deeper into the trope universe.

Or you could just download the “50 Tropes for Your Life ID List” worksheet I made for you.

Character Roles You Love to Play (Archetypes)

What Is an Archetype (And Why Should You Care)?

An archetype is a universal character pattern. They are the roles/functions/personality types that repeatedly appear in stories across every culture and time period. You can picture an archetype like a blueprint or a template. It’s not a specific person, but a recognizable kind of person we instinctively understand. And one person can hold many archetypes within. I wrote about archetypes here and here.

Archetypes are everywhere because they reflect something deep inside human nature.

Examples of archetypes you already know:

• The Wise Mentor (like Yoda or Dumbledore)

• The Trickster (like Loki or Ferris Bueller)

• The Loyal Sidekick (like Samwise Gamgee or Robin)

Archetypes are powerful because they shortcut understanding. The second you meet a character who acts like a Mentor or a Rebel, you know what emotional territory you're stepping into.

In an author “ID List,” you list the archetypes you were drawn to because writing about archetypes you have an emotional connection to enriches your story.

But when you think of your Life ID List, you can consider that you have personal archetypes shaping your life, too. Perhaps you relate strongly to a Seeker, a Caregiver, or a Creator.

These are your Heroine Personas. They can inform your wardrobe, routines, rituals, your work, your business, but most of all, the next chapter of your Extraordinary Life. I’ve written about the archetypes as part of your second coming-of-age here.

Add a list of archetypes that draw you in to your Life ID List.

Plot Devices from Your Real Life (Plot Points)

I’m a threshold crosser. It’s a recurring story beat for me. The plot point of crossing a threshold recurs again and again in my life. It’s also one of my favourite plot points to use as an author. I love presenting options to my characters and watching them make courageous choices.

Do you have story beats that recur in your life, or plot points you are particularly drawn to?

• Reinventing after a collapse

• Discovering secret abilities later in life

• Helping others unlock their potential

• Being underestimated and then wildly exceeding expectations

These plot devices hint at your Signature Story Patterns, which you can use to frame your transformation path and goals.

Document all your favourite plot points in your Life ID List.

Bonus! Settings & Sensations (Setting)

As an author, I’ve often used the settings I love in my novels (my home in Italy, my back patio in The Bahamas, a club I used to dance in when I first met my husband, a bench in Rio de Janeiro where my husband and I kissed under the moonlight). On my life ID list, I add settings that move me, and I search for those settings when and if I need them to serve a need. When anxiety creeps in, I run to a bookshop like a word junkie until my nerves settle. If I feel unmoored, I hunt down water (lake, sea, river, puddle. I'm not picky.) What settings drive you? Where do you feel most alive?

• Candlelit dinner parties

• Mountain peaks at sunrise

• Empty libraries on rainy days

• Flea markets, train stations, boutique hotels

Add them to your Life ID list.

Bonus! Power Objects & Personal Icons (Symbolism)

As previously mentioned, I’m a threshold crosser. I love a good portal moment, and I repeatedly step through "doors" into a new world that demands a reinvention of identity, purpose, or possibility. Doors are a thing for me. They show up in all my novels. They are a personal icon of my life.

What objects, symbols, or aesthetics connect you to your identity?

• Old keys, velvet journals, rings with meaning, whiteboards, maps, incense, boots.

• Certain films, songs, books?

The objects and symbols that you love and often return to are profound clues into who you are and who you want to be, and they will guide you to an Extraordinary Life.

Add your personal symbolism to your Life ID List.

So forget the self-help clichés. Your transformation is incredibly personal and specific to who you are. Your life's true fulfillment is hidden in the unexpected tales that captivate your soul. Your Life ID list is an excellent exercise to help you further uncover your Aligned Desires.

JOURNAL PROMPT

Do you have any instant ah-ha moments after reading this post? Are there items that belong on your Life ID List that you recognize immediately? You can journal them to your heart’s content, but also let me and the heroines know what your Life ID list looks like in the comments. It will be fun to compare.

Quick Personal Update

This weekend was all about football, that’s the soccer kind, not the American kind. We took the Frecciarossa (fast train) and shot down Italy in a blur of olive groves, vineyards, and castles (it goes 200 mph) from Bologna down to Napoli to attend the Napoli vs. Torino. A friend of ours is closely related to a Napoli player, so we enjoyed hanging out in the Player’s Lounge after a 2-0 win and meeting the players.

My husband has three loves: football, me, and our daughter, in that order. I knew this before I married him, so I can only blame myself when I get dragged on football excursions worldwide. That’s me enjoying the Spanish Quarter in the photo in this post. I’m starting to write essays on our travels to publish on a future Substack called Midlife Elsewhere, so if you’d like to read more, please head over and subscribe.

Coming up for Paid Subscribers?

• The April Group Coaching Call. Where we all chat about your burning questions. I’ll be live from our summer home in Italy (we went early this year)

• This week in 52 Narrative Shifts to Reinvent Your Midlife: I’m not healthy enough to change

If you want even more, you can join The Lab, aka the inner circle shaping the future of The Heroine’s Adventure. As a Lab member, you get early beta access to every course, workbook, and tool I create for free, before they become available for purchase. Your feedback (or silent lurking, no judgment) helps shape what’s next. You’ll also get behind-the-scenes insights from someone who built and sold a 7-figure business from scratch. I’ll show you the real systems, strategies, and decisions behind this adventure so that you can use them in yours.

Coming up in The Lab?

• The last two modules of the Heroine’s Adventure Quest: Mining for Magic - What Your Ordinary World Wants You to Know.

  • Your Character Arc:

    • From: Stuck in your "ordinary world," unable to identify what needs changing or how to create a meaningful shift in your life.

    • To: A clear map of your desired changes, an understanding of the root causes of your challenges, and practical steps to begin authoring your transformation story.

• In Spoiler Alerts (the posts where I spill it all): a full breakdown of my Substack Notes strategy, including a backstage peek into the systems that keep my Notes humming.