Clean generosity, I love the concept. Especially since I’ve come to realise that coercive control can often be disguised as ‘generosity’ but with strings attached
I love this entire dictionary!! My favorites are fallow period and self-curating. I would love to add an alternative to "gratitude." I wrote a piece last year lamenting the overuse of the word as a cure-all that lacked any real meaning. How about something like, "privilege cognition?" It is different than using the G-word because it doesn't negate the opportunity to also be really pissed off.
I love this so much. Re-selfing is such a good one for the parts of us we have erased. thank you for doing the work with starting this dictionary and giving us the language.
Plus it gives us permission to view ourselves as overflowing with an abundance that needs to be curated, versus having missing pieces we need to “fix.”
This is brilliant, Lisa-Marie — it feels like collective language reclamation in motion. I love how you’ve turned old constraints into fresh definitions that actually fit who we’ve become. “Re-selfing” and “clean generosity” especially struck me — they’re both tender and strong.
I used to work in behavioral psychology, and this idea of naming new patterns to rewire how we think about ourselves feels exactly right. Words shape identity — and this dictionary feels like the start of a new one. -Kelly
Self-curating and self-cultivating are fire!! I feel the connection to my grandmothers in these words. Like going on an expedition into the ancient parts of myself. These words feel good in my soul. Thank you for the journal prompt today. 💚
I love this whole dictionary. I do love the fallow period. I also love it when I allow it to happen without guilt. Now I have a name for it. And I shall use it. Thank you Lisa-Marie.
I used the term "Fallow Period" with a young mother yesterday who was beating herself up for procrastinating. All women need to hear this term I think.
I remember when I realized I didn’t have the language to express myself in my 30s! I acted out like a child. And until I took myself to a mindfulness retreat and learned mindful awareness I was extremely unhappy without the words.
Thank you for sharing this. I love all of our new vocabulary, but what strikes me most is the generosity in your language: not just “selflessness,” but clean generosity itself, the idea of giving freely while knowing your limits. It feels like a gift, both to the reader and to the women you’re inviting into this conversation.
This whole dictionary feels like someone finally handed midlife women the right words. “De-selfing” especially hit close to home... I’ve spent years shapeshifting without realizing that’s what it was. Thank you for naming what so many of us have lived without language for.
Somehow I completely missed this post and had no idea you had mentioned me 🥰. De-selfing, so deeply meaningful. My Substack Mavyn is officially launching in the new year! I look forward to collaborating with you. Keep a look out 👀
Clean generosity, I love the concept. Especially since I’ve come to realise that coercive control can often be disguised as ‘generosity’ but with strings attached
So insightful, Julie. I agree with you.
I love this entire dictionary!! My favorites are fallow period and self-curating. I would love to add an alternative to "gratitude." I wrote a piece last year lamenting the overuse of the word as a cure-all that lacked any real meaning. How about something like, "privilege cognition?" It is different than using the G-word because it doesn't negate the opportunity to also be really pissed off.
Oh Jeez! That's a good one, Ingrid. But does it make us less grateful? I'll have to think about this one.
I love this so much. Re-selfing is such a good one for the parts of us we have erased. thank you for doing the work with starting this dictionary and giving us the language.
Re-selfing is my absolute favorite! It's a return -- not another chore like "self-discovery"
I'll be there are so many more words to add.
Ohhh, I love the term self curation. Like the opposite and authentic yang to the yin of posting and "curating" a social media persona.
Plus it gives us permission to view ourselves as overflowing with an abundance that needs to be curated, versus having missing pieces we need to “fix.”
This is brilliant, Lisa-Marie — it feels like collective language reclamation in motion. I love how you’ve turned old constraints into fresh definitions that actually fit who we’ve become. “Re-selfing” and “clean generosity” especially struck me — they’re both tender and strong.
I used to work in behavioral psychology, and this idea of naming new patterns to rewire how we think about ourselves feels exactly right. Words shape identity — and this dictionary feels like the start of a new one. -Kelly
Self-curating and self-cultivating are fire!! I feel the connection to my grandmothers in these words. Like going on an expedition into the ancient parts of myself. These words feel good in my soul. Thank you for the journal prompt today. 💚
Ooooh, I love that this sent you on an expedition. It's like what we do in the Questbook "Rewriting Your Backstory" https://www.heroinesadventure.com/questbooks/p/ebook-version-rewriting-your-back-story
I love this whole dictionary. I do love the fallow period. I also love it when I allow it to happen without guilt. Now I have a name for it. And I shall use it. Thank you Lisa-Marie.
I used the term "Fallow Period" with a young mother yesterday who was beating herself up for procrastinating. All women need to hear this term I think.
I remember when I realized I didn’t have the language to express myself in my 30s! I acted out like a child. And until I took myself to a mindfulness retreat and learned mindful awareness I was extremely unhappy without the words.
Thank you for sharing this. I love all of our new vocabulary, but what strikes me most is the generosity in your language: not just “selflessness,” but clean generosity itself, the idea of giving freely while knowing your limits. It feels like a gift, both to the reader and to the women you’re inviting into this conversation.
I think it's something we are all learning in our second coming-od-age, Mary.
Language really is the first step in transformation. Reclaiming our words feels like reclaiming oxygen where we get to breathe in our own truth again.
This whole dictionary feels like someone finally handed midlife women the right words. “De-selfing” especially hit close to home... I’ve spent years shapeshifting without realizing that’s what it was. Thank you for naming what so many of us have lived without language for.
Somehow I completely missed this post and had no idea you had mentioned me 🥰. De-selfing, so deeply meaningful. My Substack Mavyn is officially launching in the new year! I look forward to collaborating with you. Keep a look out 👀