Stuff is a Money Grabbing Soul Sucker

Or... Cleanse your closets, cleanse you life.

Why does owning more feel like living less? Let me share a lesson learned about the true cost of ‘stuff.’

You know when you get that itch for change? That craving to get your feet on some fresh soil? We loved our oceanfront paradise in The Bahamas, but after five years of living permanently “on the rock,” we craved a new adventure. We would take our daughter out of school and drive around Europe for a year with only one carry-on bag each (plus a bag for my mobile office). Our daughter would tackle virtual homeschooling, I’d juggle my business from cafe corners, and my husband would mastermind our journey while we explored the length of the Italian mainland, plus Corsica, Sardinia, and Sicily. We would list our beautiful home on the new vacation rental websites that were popping up (this was pre-AirBnb) and use the income to fund our travels.

The universe aligned every star for our adventure, but one dark cloud lingered... our mountain of stuff. It was holding us hostage. No sensible vacationer wants to rent a home full of other people’s junk! No problem... we would have a yard sale.

Interestingly, before we left the US five years prior, we’d had a huge yard sale in Virginia. Shipping to the islands was so expensive (even before a moving company absconded with our money - another story), so we wanted to be sure we only brought things we absolutely needed for our new life in The Bahamas. Since arriving in The Bahamas, we hadn’t shopped because on an island, there was nothing to buy. So the question was, how is it we still had stuff to sell only five years later? Well, my heroine, it’s because... It was the same stuff.

Yep. It’s embarrassingly true. We unpacked boxes (most of them we’d never even opened) and spread their contents on the front patio. Luckily, everything sold like hotcakes, and we pocketed some adventure cash.

So, what is wrong with this picture? Consider…I sold five (yes, you read that correctly...FIVE) comforter sets for $10 each. Ignoring the fact we brought comforter sets with us to a tropical climate (you can’t ignore that idiocy, you say? I’m not surprised), I can not believe the financial losses incurred in that sale. Not only did we have a bunch of comforter sets we’d purchased and barely used, but we also PAID for them to be shipped to The Bahamas and PAID customs duty on them. Why? Because it is damn hard to let go of stuff! Until you do. But more on that later.

That yard sale is a painful memory. And I don’t mean because of the crowd of women banging on my garage door at 7:00 am demanding I open up, even though we’d scheduled the sale for 9:00 am. And I don’t mean because when I opened the gate (before 9:00 am - I couldn’t stand the banging), I got trampled by shoppers like those in a scene from Black Friday at Walmart - screaming fights over comforters and all. No, that yard sale was painful because every time I accepted a payment, I couldn’t enjoy the money we were earning. The only thought spinning behind my sunburned forehead was how much money we had lost.

Every item we sold in that yard sale was one we should never have shipped. So. Much. Waste. Ugh.

So... a lesson learned. Let go of your stuff. Let go for the reasons above, but also because of how delicious shedding the weight of your unnecessary physical possessions feels. In the months before our adventure, as we staged the house for rentals, my daily life got easier, calmer, and cleaner. There was a place for everything, and everything was in its place. We didn’t have closets filled with clutter, like unresolved arguments, and we had empty shelves that encouraged inspiration, like blank white canvases. It was truly liberating. And, winner, winner, chicken dinner, we learned we could easily pack a carry-on suitcase for a year of travel, and we’ve done that ever since.

I know you wear an exhausting number of different hats. If you are a mother, wife, or homeowner, one hat you probably wear is “Chief Stuff-Keeper.” I promise it would surprise you if I told you how many issues my coaching clients struggle with that we could trace back to the hardships of this role (financial issues, housekeeping issues, organizational issues, time management issues, etc.). I firmly believe that attachment to stuff is nothing but a massive energy sucker but primarily, and most dangerously, a convenient excuse for fear and lethargy. Not to mention a substantial financial slippery slope leading down to the mortifying “Unescapable Pit of Compounding Interest.” (Never heard of it? Consider yourself lucky)

Think about it. Have you ever said, “But I couldn’t do that; I am still paying off the TV,” “But I must borrow $20,000 for that closet renovation; I have no room for my stuff,” or “I have to rent an office because I have no room in my house?”

Stuff is a money-grabbing soul sucker.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have nice things. I plan on furnishing my dream home piece by delicious piece someday when we complete our wandering. Just don’t have “stuff”. Be honest... Do you have stuff you haven’t touched in five years? Are boxes still sealed from the last time you moved? Are there closets you’re afraid to open?

Before you open your journal this week, I have a tough love exercise for those of you who have convinced yourself that every item in your house is absolutely necessary and that you couldn’t live without it, or your life would be empty and sad.

Step 1 - Pick a closet or drawer in your home. It can be any room or drawer. Start somewhere.

Step 2 - Get some empty boxes

Step 3—Empty the entire drawer or closet into those boxes. I mean, leave nothing behind.

Step 4—Give that drawer or closet a good clean. Have you ever cleaned it before? Answer honestly!

Step 5 - Take all the boxes and put them in another room. If you are brave, seal them up and put them in the attic.

Step 6 - Every time you NEED something that was in that drawer or closet, take it out of the boxes and put it back in the clean space

Step 7 - If you are really “stuff-fi-fied” you can wait for six months before you Craiglist/Yard Sale/eBay those boxes - but seriously, you do it after two months

Step 8 - Repeat with another closet or drawer

It’s also essential to not buy anything to put in that closet or drawer while conducting this exercise, especially comforters.

JOURNAL PROMPT:

Take out your glittery pen and peek into that box you filled. Pick an item to write about. Have you used/admired/needed that item in the last few months? What did you buy it for? Why do you still have it? Why are you feeling an attachment to this item? Pick another item every day this week.

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