Totally spot on! It's all about anxiety for me, for sure. I've tied some of it to the voice in my head that I call the "narrative voice," which is always describing what could or should happen. It's not judgy, it's just committed to telling my story for me. I've also located a concern with agency, meaning that the narrative voice is there to remind me that I am able to make choices about what I do and how I get things done. So often I have lost a sense of agency, and the narrative voice is trying to be a helpful reminder.
Thanks, Donna. I'm glad it seems helpful. I will say, it has reduced my physical symptoms of anxiety (tight shoulder muscles especially) dramatically. I wish you all the best trying it out!
Oh, this is fascinating...the narrative voice as a protector of agency rather than just an anxiety response. That reframe shifts everything, doesn't it?
I wonder how many of us have convinced our narrative voice that it needs to work overtime because we've had experiences where our agency was actually threatened or taken away.
I struggle with this control issue as well. My favorite part of the day is making my list (well, second fav part - my fav part is when it's all done!) and I don't think I would do too well without out. I think this is my desire to control the small things.
Brilliant read! You had me at “I’m not future-focused. I’m anxiety-focused, and the future was just where I hid it all.” because I too have been working through my need for “control”. It’s quite confronting when it first shows up (well, it felt like that for me anyway), so thank you for sharing your experience. It’s nice to know I’m not alone 💡
My sister is like this. She’s a super planner, and she’s amazing, constantly out-performing herself. But the pressure she feels and puts on others is crazy. I admire her planning skills are off the chart compared to mine. I’m more of a dreamer , ultra spontaneous, which comes with another form of anxiety! I also feel like I’m never enough. We are so complex. Interesting piece. 🙏✨
I plan. Then go totally off piste. It's partly some kind of internal rebellion against conforming to rules, and partly my perimenopausal brain that behaves like it has ADHD
I think you’ve put a name to a lot of what I’ve been feeling for a long time. I could blame in on the internet and it makes me hyper focused about what and how I’m doing and the different “systems” I can set up but even before that I would scour the library for ideas. In one of my first Substack posts I wrote about my favorite way of dealing with overwhelm. I say to myself “I like RIGHT NOW.” I also love planning and list making and journaling to process the heck out of life. But within my daily lists I allow for some finger painting to happen. I guess that’s part of the adventure.
You've made me realize I think that's why I liked my bullet journal so much, Carol. It forces me to be present just to create the pages. Maybe I should go back to my beloved Bujo. Even though it did make some of my tendencies worse.
Totally spot on! It's all about anxiety for me, for sure. I've tied some of it to the voice in my head that I call the "narrative voice," which is always describing what could or should happen. It's not judgy, it's just committed to telling my story for me. I've also located a concern with agency, meaning that the narrative voice is there to remind me that I am able to make choices about what I do and how I get things done. So often I have lost a sense of agency, and the narrative voice is trying to be a helpful reminder.
This is a great perspective Beth, looking at the narration and list making as a way to have agency. I am going to adopt that outlook.
Thanks, Donna. I'm glad it seems helpful. I will say, it has reduced my physical symptoms of anxiety (tight shoulder muscles especially) dramatically. I wish you all the best trying it out!
Oh, this is fascinating...the narrative voice as a protector of agency rather than just an anxiety response. That reframe shifts everything, doesn't it?
I wonder how many of us have convinced our narrative voice that it needs to work overtime because we've had experiences where our agency was actually threatened or taken away.
“I’m not future-focused. I’m anxiety-focused, and the future was just where I hid it all.”
👆🏾
This.
Especially now that I’m a solopreneur, who’s responsible for everything in my business (you should see my Asana boards… or maybe you shouldn’t!).
I’d probably love your Asana boards. 😊
You probably would!
I struggle with this control issue as well. My favorite part of the day is making my list (well, second fav part - my fav part is when it's all done!) and I don't think I would do too well without out. I think this is my desire to control the small things.
We should start the League of the Listmakers!
We would be champions!
Brilliant read! You had me at “I’m not future-focused. I’m anxiety-focused, and the future was just where I hid it all.” because I too have been working through my need for “control”. It’s quite confronting when it first shows up (well, it felt like that for me anyway), so thank you for sharing your experience. It’s nice to know I’m not alone 💡
It’s very confronting, Claire. But I think recognition is the first step in the journey.
Oof. I feel like I was just reading about myself there….
I think you’ll find yourself in good company, Bailey. Lol!
My sister is like this. She’s a super planner, and she’s amazing, constantly out-performing herself. But the pressure she feels and puts on others is crazy. I admire her planning skills are off the chart compared to mine. I’m more of a dreamer , ultra spontaneous, which comes with another form of anxiety! I also feel like I’m never enough. We are so complex. Interesting piece. 🙏✨
I plan. Then go totally off piste. It's partly some kind of internal rebellion against conforming to rules, and partly my perimenopausal brain that behaves like it has ADHD
The real adventures are probably off piste anyway, Julie.
I think you’ve put a name to a lot of what I’ve been feeling for a long time. I could blame in on the internet and it makes me hyper focused about what and how I’m doing and the different “systems” I can set up but even before that I would scour the library for ideas. In one of my first Substack posts I wrote about my favorite way of dealing with overwhelm. I say to myself “I like RIGHT NOW.” I also love planning and list making and journaling to process the heck out of life. But within my daily lists I allow for some finger painting to happen. I guess that’s part of the adventure.
You've made me realize I think that's why I liked my bullet journal so much, Carol. It forces me to be present just to create the pages. Maybe I should go back to my beloved Bujo. Even though it did make some of my tendencies worse.