Map Your Ordinary World: The First Step to Changing Everything (Module Three)

A Beta Adventure Quest from The Lab

This week, I’m gifting this post (and the next one in the series) to all Call for Heroine’s subscribers (free and paid). If you'd like to know why, you can read about it here.

This post is (usually) for Lab Members only, aka the inner circle shaping the future of The Heroine’s Adventure. As a Lab member, you get early access to every course, workbook, and tool I create before anyone else sees it. Your feedback (or silent lurking, no judgment) helps shape what’s next. In your "Spoiler Alert” posts, you’ll also get behind-the-scenes insights from someone who built and sold a 7-figure business from scratch. I’ll show you the real systems, strategies, and decisions behind this adventure so you can use them in yours.

Welcome to Module 3, where you will begin your work as a Story Archaeologist™

Why did Indiana Jones need that dusty old journal to find hidden treasures? Because the real gold isn't lying around in plain sight - it's buried under layers of history, waiting to be discovered. Today, you'll become a Story Archaeologist™, excavating the hidden patterns that have been secretly directing your life's story all along.

THE INVISIBLE RULEBOOK

Remember how Neo felt when he first realized he was living in the Matrix? You're about to have a similar moment (you're gonna be all verklempt). Your "ordinary world" that you mapped out yesterday is governed by an invisible rulebook of expectations, pressures, and beliefs you may not even realize you're following.

Today, we will start mining by looking at rules and norms.

In storytelling, the main character's ordinary world is usually marked by constraints that suppress the protagonist's true self and desires. Setting these up for the character is the entire point of telling the story. The main character's narrative journey involves recognizing these constraints, breaking free from them, and ultimately embracing an authentic identity.

What kind of rules and norms are we talking about? Let's peek at some classic stories to see how these hidden patterns work:

• Societal Expectations: Little Women

  • "...we ought not to spend any money for pleasures, when our men are suffering so in the army." (Proper ladies suffer to support their men)

  • "How would you like to be shut up for hours with a nervous, fussy old lady, who keeps you trotting, is never satisfied, and worries till you're ready to fly out the window or box her ears." (Ladies have no choices when it comes to societal expectations of responsibility)

  • "...I do think washing dishes and keeping things today is the worst work in the world. It makes me cross." (Women are expected to serve in domestic duties)

• Family and Community Pressures: Pride and Prejudice

  • I don't need to read to you from the ordinary world here, as the entire novel is based on family and community expectations. As Mr. Bennet has no sons, his closest male relative will assume his inheritance, which means that family and society will arrange for all the daughters to be married off to wealthy spouses to care for them. Elizabeth Bennet faces the suffocating expectation that marriage is her only path to security.

• Internalized Beliefs: Jane Eyre

  • “You ought to be aware, Miss, that you are under obligations to Mrs. Reed: she keeps you: if she were to turn you off, you would have to go to the poorhouse.” (She must be grateful no matter how she is treated)

  • “And you ought not to think yourself on an equality with the Misses Reed and Master Reed, because Missis kindly allows you to be brought up with them. They will have a great deal of money, and you will have none: it is your place to be humble, and to try to make yourself agreeable to them.” (Jane will always be inferior due to her social class)

BECOMING THE PATTERN DETECTIVE

Time to channel your inner Sherlock Holmes. We're digging through your Ordinary World Journal, and we're looking for clues in four key areas:

• Societal Expectations:

  • The "should dos" that society whispers in your ear

  • The milestones you're "supposed" to hit by certain ages

  • The roles you're expected to play based on your gender/age/background

• Family Scripts

  • The unwritten family rules passed down through generations

  • The roles you inherited (The responsible one? The peacemaker?)

  • The dreams your family chose for you

• Cultural Programming

  • Traditional values that might be limiting you

  • Gender-based restrictions you've internalized

  • Social media's influence on your choices

• Personal Myths

  • Stories you tell yourself about who you can/cannot be

  • Self-imposed limitations

  • Fear-based decisions masquerading as "being practical"

BECOMING THE PATTERN DETECTIVE

Now it's time to dig! Pull out your worksheet and follow these steps:

• Examine your ordinary world. - Can you find examples of rules and norms? If you can, write them in your worksheet's Rules & Norms column.Here are some questions to help you:

  • Is your career choice yours? Or is it based on societal prestige or family pressure?

  • Have you made lifestyle decisions based on rules and norms? Did you get married young because that's what you do? Did you buy a house before you were ready?

  • Are you ruled by cultural traditions? Perhaps a woman shouldn't be too educated. Perhaps they shouldn't work outside the home?

  • Are you conforming to common archetypes? Are you the responsible eldest child? The Joker? The caretaker?

  • Do you have a fear of judgment? Are you making decisions based on what others might think?

• Honestly examine the source of each rule. Challenge yourself. Reflect on why you are adhering to these rules and norms. Write this reflection in the "Why" column of your worksheet.

• Mark each rule as either "Empowering" or "Restrictive"

Remember: Not all rules are bad! Some provide helpful structure. We're looking for the ones that are keeping your true self buried.

Congratulations, Story Archaeologist! You've just completed your first major dig. Those patterns you've unearthed? They're about to become the key to your transformation. But unlike Indiana Jones, you won't be storing these artifacts in a museum - you'll be deciding which ones deserve a place in your Extraordinary Life.

Over to you, Lab Heroines!
This is your invitation to shape the final version of this quest.
✨ Does it resonate?
✨ Is anything unclear or missing?
✨ Do you need more of something?
✨ Would you want to keep going to the next module? If not, what’s stopping you?

Your feedback helps me make each quest stronger and gives you early access to tools that can change your life. Every note you share sharpens the impact for the next heroine who picks up this quest. I can’t do this without you. Let’s build the adventures together.

Coming up for Paid Subscribers?

• The April Group Coaching Call. Where we all chat about your burning questions. I’ll be live from our summer home in Italy (we went early this year)

• This week in 52 Narrative Shifts to Reinvent Your Midlife: I’m Bad With Money (Out Today!)

If you want even more, you can join The Lab, aka the inner circle shaping the future of The Heroine’s Adventure. As a Lab member, you get early beta access to every course, workbook, and tool I create for free, before they become available for purchase. Your feedback (or silent lurking, no judgment) helps shape what’s next. You’ll also get behind-the-scenes insights from someone who built and sold a 7-figure business from scratch. I’ll show you the real systems, strategies, and decisions behind this adventure so that you can use them in yours.