Or... What I learned from my house burning down.Like many of us, I have good friends in Los Angeles. I've spent the last 10 days anxiously typing their zip codes into the fire checker and trying not to give them more work by texting them non-stop. As of right now, they are all safe, and their homes remain intact; their neighbors and good friends have not been so lucky.I think a lot about the concept of 'home' and what that word truly means. Of the people who have lost their homes in LA, some lived within those four familiar walls their entire lives, some are recent transplants, perhaps chasing the LA dream, and for some, it's their second (or even third) home. Are they all equally devastated? Is it easier for some than others?I want to say that I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your home to a fire. But unfortunately, I can.
I was homeless for a time due to black mold. I lived in a friend’s RV with my husband, situated on another friend’s property. I taught online and wrote. My husband worked 80 hour weeks caring for an elderly gentleman who was quite ill. Never considered that we would be in that position. I was lonely, but I was grateful. I will never forget the people who made sure we had what we needed. Most of my family didn’t even know at the time because I was embarrassed.
Now that we have our own home and lovely property, we joyfully take in others when they need it. I try to hold on loosely to my home and physical things, and grasp tightly to those who actually make it home.
Thank you for your story. It’s a beautiful message for all of us.
I’ve (gratefully) never experienced a trauma like yours. I’ve lived in many homes in 3 countries. My family began in Scotland, emigrated to Canada then when I got married my husband and I lived in Los Angeles (Woodland Hills to be precise.) One significant earthquake and we were on a plane a week later back to Canada with our two small children (both under 2.) We lasted one year in LA. Presently my home is filled with my husband, three of our four children and my parents! Our Covid-19 confination was all eight of us together every single day for almost 2 years!! It was the best time of my life! My favourite quote of Walt Whitman is “We were together, I forget the rest.” That is my Covid memory. ‘Home’ is the people I love the most being together. Even if it’s just nearby and not under the same roof. It doesn’t even matter what or where the roof is. I’m always mindful that we could lose everything in a moment so I truly only treasure the irreplaceable people in my life. I know I’ll be ok without a house because we’ll always get another one, g-d willing. I cried reading your story, thanks for sharing it.
I love this, Hazel. Especially your COVID story and your Walt Whitman comment. You are blessed indeed. xx Plus you are a UK emigrant like me, except I ended up back here.
It’s evolved over time - I have a few precious things that are small enough to carry in a backpack, most of which have been up, down, over, around, and sideways. When I used to travel for a living I had a single picture collage that would hang in every hotel room. That and the sound of my White Noise app…
We also lived out of single carry-ons while we traveled. That can be tiring after a while. Sometimes you just want to be surrounded by things you recognize.
Completely! After my touring years, I wanted nothing more than roots. Pillows no one else had slept on and laundry that was free and on demand. Having recently jettisoned everything to expatriate, I’m reassessing what it takes to feel like home and finding it has very little to do with “stuff.”
It's the pillow thing for me. I carry mine with me now. :-) Other than that - I agree. It's not stuff so much as the practical things and the convenience of knowing you have a wine opener when you need one.
So touching. Home to me is somewhere I am comfortable, and I am learning to find that within myself more and more... astrology has told me that it is my destiny to do so.
My bedroom burned down 11 years ago. Not the whole house, just my bedroom in my parent's house, thanks to a sturdy wood door I closed in panic. I feel you.
Thank you for describing the pain and hopelessness of losing your home. We are very fortunate because we are able to rent for the 1+ year it will take before our new house is ready. But half of our belongings are in boxes and the rental does not feel like home. Now we have to find another rental in a very difficult market. Even this small insecurity has shown me how embedded a building is, and how important a home is. Some of a sense of home is making a space your own, something even a refugee in a tent, displaced from their homeland will try to do.
I was homeless for a time due to black mold. I lived in a friend’s RV with my husband, situated on another friend’s property. I taught online and wrote. My husband worked 80 hour weeks caring for an elderly gentleman who was quite ill. Never considered that we would be in that position. I was lonely, but I was grateful. I will never forget the people who made sure we had what we needed. Most of my family didn’t even know at the time because I was embarrassed.
Now that we have our own home and lovely property, we joyfully take in others when they need it. I try to hold on loosely to my home and physical things, and grasp tightly to those who actually make it home.
Thank you for your story. It’s a beautiful message for all of us.
I love this line, Beth...
"I try to hold on loosely to my home and physical things, and grasp tightly to those who actually make it home."
May we all learn from you.
Ah - thanks. ❤️
I experienced this too! And it also made me want to offer my home to others more, too. x
I’ve (gratefully) never experienced a trauma like yours. I’ve lived in many homes in 3 countries. My family began in Scotland, emigrated to Canada then when I got married my husband and I lived in Los Angeles (Woodland Hills to be precise.) One significant earthquake and we were on a plane a week later back to Canada with our two small children (both under 2.) We lasted one year in LA. Presently my home is filled with my husband, three of our four children and my parents! Our Covid-19 confination was all eight of us together every single day for almost 2 years!! It was the best time of my life! My favourite quote of Walt Whitman is “We were together, I forget the rest.” That is my Covid memory. ‘Home’ is the people I love the most being together. Even if it’s just nearby and not under the same roof. It doesn’t even matter what or where the roof is. I’m always mindful that we could lose everything in a moment so I truly only treasure the irreplaceable people in my life. I know I’ll be ok without a house because we’ll always get another one, g-d willing. I cried reading your story, thanks for sharing it.
I love this, Hazel. Especially your COVID story and your Walt Whitman comment. You are blessed indeed. xx Plus you are a UK emigrant like me, except I ended up back here.
Beautiful story - thank you for sharing! Home is indeed a concept that takes many shapes and forms!
Thanks for reading, Gillian! What's your concept of 'home'?
It’s evolved over time - I have a few precious things that are small enough to carry in a backpack, most of which have been up, down, over, around, and sideways. When I used to travel for a living I had a single picture collage that would hang in every hotel room. That and the sound of my White Noise app…
We also lived out of single carry-ons while we traveled. That can be tiring after a while. Sometimes you just want to be surrounded by things you recognize.
I discovered the inflatable GERD pillow and now I can go anywhere but where would we be without our church keys indeed!
Completely! After my touring years, I wanted nothing more than roots. Pillows no one else had slept on and laundry that was free and on demand. Having recently jettisoned everything to expatriate, I’m reassessing what it takes to feel like home and finding it has very little to do with “stuff.”
It's the pillow thing for me. I carry mine with me now. :-) Other than that - I agree. It's not stuff so much as the practical things and the convenience of knowing you have a wine opener when you need one.
So touching. Home to me is somewhere I am comfortable, and I am learning to find that within myself more and more... astrology has told me that it is my destiny to do so.
My bedroom burned down 11 years ago. Not the whole house, just my bedroom in my parent's house, thanks to a sturdy wood door I closed in panic. I feel you.
So sorry to hear that, Elin. It's a tough loss.
Thank you for describing the pain and hopelessness of losing your home. We are very fortunate because we are able to rent for the 1+ year it will take before our new house is ready. But half of our belongings are in boxes and the rental does not feel like home. Now we have to find another rental in a very difficult market. Even this small insecurity has shown me how embedded a building is, and how important a home is. Some of a sense of home is making a space your own, something even a refugee in a tent, displaced from their homeland will try to do.